I started feeling frustrated, angry and hopeless ...
When I needed to meet my latest challenge of my printer not working: my child saved the day.
It reminded me of an aspect that I learned from the Adlerian parenting principles with the difference of practising them on myself, this time.
Do you know this feeling when something doesn’t go your way and you frantically try to fix it but it won’t work?
In the past I may have given up, being very self-critical and believing I failed.
In recent times I simply see it as not being skilled enough yet at something.
What I want to share is something related and yet different.
On my journey as a parent, I am continuously falling over stumbling blocks that I didn’t see coming.
What helps me however is learning tools and skills that help me get up again.
Earlier, I was thinking of when we moved into this new house and hoping nothing would ever break.
Maybe you can see the idiocy in my wishful thinking for our newly purchased home, 9 years ago?
Most of the material things we own require maintenance, servicing or cleaning.
We can either learn these skills or pay someone to do it for us. If a washing machine owner doesn’t know how to fix it when it is broken, it doesn’t mean that this person is a failure. He or she may have no interest in plumbing and electronics or doesn’t own a tool box. It is of course not the same when raising children. Just maybe sometimes the wish for having a proper manual and detailed instructions for both. What happened in the case of my rebelling printer was, that I read the manual and none of the trouble-shooting seemed to make it obey me. Things got worse when I started feeling frustrated, angry and hopeless of it ever working again after spending hours and hours on it. I felt so stuck that I wished to be able to call the IT department of my former employer.
When my son noticed my struggles, he suggested to offer it some biscuits and leave them on top of the lid for a while.
You may find this hilarious.
As I had reached my wits’ end, after initial hesitation - I agreed to go with his experiment.
It was almost as if my 10-year-old applied a couple of parenting tools to my machine dilemma.
While the ginger snap and chocolate leibniz worked their magic, I found a different perspective.
There was nothing wrong with the printer, the problem was that I needed to update its software from a different source.
What does this have to do with parenting, is the question?
In my experience, there is nothing wrong with neither the parent nor the child.
What needs to happen if there is an issue and the old way of fixing it, changes nothing:
a new approach is needed.
Human beings may not run on software, however I believe that every child comes in with:
skills that want to be honed
an individual temperament and
the need to be accepted for who they are.
Based on one of my favourite Carl Jung quotes, working with my clients has proven over and over again that the manual for each child is found inside their parent:
Would you like to know how I can bring this inner wisdom out of someone?
Click this button to book a free effortless call with me or send me a chat: