Feeling Terribly Alone

What happened to me during the week was so cheerful; I would like to share it with you.

Have you ever come across someone for a brief moment and they change the trajectory of your life forever?

When I had my firstborn, I was completely clueless.

My family in a different country and no close friend who had a baby, my start to motherhood was extremely shaky.   

After giving birth, it felt like I didn’t sleep for 7 nights.

Despite the over-exhaustion, my mind was racing at 100 miles an hour and my body couldn’t find the rest it so desperately needed.

I was beating myself up over the breastfeeding not coming naturally and my first parenting book was so rigid, I felt like an utter failure.

After another night of almost no sleep and the pain of bleeding nipples, I threw this useless measuring stick with full force into the furthest away corner.

This began a healing journey of NOT ONLY believing the opinions of others but starting to learn to trust myself again.

At that moment, I believed I was a weak person with no will-power falling for every easy way out to avoid all pain.

The first parenting advice I received from others was: “Just give her a bottle!”

This is not a post about “You should or shouldn’t breastfeed”.

I am simply sharing my story without judging mothers for decisions made or made for them.

My infant daughter seemed to have woken up the strong-willed child dormant inside me.

FEELING TERRIBLY ALONE

After sitting at home and feeling so terribly alone, I decided to join every support group I could find.

In one of them, I sat next to a relaxed and calm woman who shared that she had an older child already.

I could not tell you what we spoke about, I just remember feeling so reassured by listening to her and trusted that she had access to the answers.

This earth angel recommended for me to buy William & Matha Sears’ The Baby Book.

My path that was heading towards post-natal depression suddenly found the goldmine.

I learned that being told to follow the-one-size-fits-all-approach in parenting makes me rebel and want to run.

The magic this paediatrician and mother of his children - a midwife - offered was a whole variety of solutions I could choose from.

I need to know the why so I can decide for myself.

Over 15 years later, I stand next to a stranger at a talk for 1 hour, yet she looks so familiar.

Wanting to express my gratitude for so long, this week I was given the opportunity.

This fellow mum sent me on my journey and inspired me to encourage others.

Co-creating a support group for parenting the early years, led to a professional service and a monthly group membership I now call ‘Effortless Flow’.

Asking for help is a most challenging aspect for so many.

What I have come to learn is the need to trust my intuition whom to ask.

This confidential and intimate space I facilitate is one where mothers, fathers, couples and single parents find solutions for each others’ problems.

Are you ready to join my blame-, shame- and judgement-free community and enrich it?  

Click here or send me a private message through the chat option below simply saying 'Flow’ for more

(Confirming humanity: written by annett)