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"Teach children what they CAN do" (Jane Nelson)

Updated: May 21, 2019

When my daughter turned one, I had just heard about this different approach on how to deal with “misbehaviour". 

She could hardly stand up straight, yet had gotten hold of a pen and when I entered the room was in full swing of drawing on our kitchen wall. 

Having gotten a small glimpse and understanding how a young child’s brain works, I managed to not act on my first impulse.

Instead of screaming: "Don’t draw on the wall” - I reached for a sheet of paper and said: “This is where you can draw”.

Later on that day I thought: how could children possibly be aware of all the expectations and rules unless we teach them first?

It is almost unimaginable to follow instructions that come in form of negation. 

Try this little experiment: ………….  “Do not think of an elephant!”

A more successful way to stop your kids from shouting (which we frequently use in our house) is to stay calm and say:

“You can use your indoor voice or you can go outside, you choose”.

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