Take the sail out of their wind

What I love about this parenting approach so much is that it offers exactly what Albert Einstein described when it comes to solving a problem. 

He said something along the lines of: the mind that created the problem, can’t be the one to solve it. 

To find the solution - we have to change our mind. 

When it comes to a “collision” between parent and child, the adult often expects the younger person to be co-operative. 

Why would a developing child not accept their more experienced and skilled role model’s words and follow their lead?

A care-giver often says that as a child they did what their parent said. 

When it comes to guiding a minor, the method used is sometimes one where respect is demanded rather than given. 

I can relate so deeply with my client who has all the best intentions.

Between the words that come out of her/his mouth and how it’s perceived by their son or daughter: something goes missing. 

“Words are not our only means of communication”, Rudolf Dreikurs writes. 

What I would like to share with you is his different Adlerian perspective on misbehaviour. 

Imagine you are a ship in stormy waters. 

The wind is blowing and you are trying to steer towards calmer seas.

All you wish for – is for the “wind to be taken out of your sail”. 

Let’s assume the wind stands for a child’s mistaken belief how to find their place in this world. 

What women and men find fascinating, comes next. 

Rather than asking their youngster or teenager to stop blowing: Dreikurs suggests for “the sail to be taken out of their wind”. 

When it comes to finding solutions for problems, children are often much freer because their “shame and humiliation buckets” are near empty. 

In a way, a young child acting out in public can also be seen as:

🌱 confident

🌱 assertive 

🌱 strong 

🌱 filled with self-worth and self-respect.

In other words, a mum and dad who work with me become a lot less reactive and start to approach conflict situations with compassionate curiosity.

Withdrawing from the ‘parent vs. child battlefield’ is neither weak nor abandonment.

It is in my opinion THE ANSWER how to redirect and assist future generations in learning when to stay and when to walk away. 

I have availability in my calendar for you who is willing to hear about this paradigm shift. 

Would you like to experience something new?

Book a free effortless call so you can decide if a “Firm and Kind” parenting style is for you:

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(Confirming humanity: written by annett)