When it comes to diagnosing children and adults, I of course have no qualifications or expert knowledge to add to the conversation.
What I would like to share today is how I support parents and teachers who are experiencing behaviours at home and in the classroom that are calling for a fresh approach.
When I was a child and young adult, I suffered from anxiety and depression because I didn’t fit it.
Adults around me gave up as I was “too much” for them.
I am not looking for pity or asking you to take out a sadness and sympathy violin 🎻🤣.
What I have been learning from clients is that their neurodiverse children have to work harder as the environment they need to thrive in, is changing very slowly.
Most children naturally want to move to stay balanced.
To be required to sit down may feel like being chained when the body prompts movement to release.
Today, luckily children with a diagnosis are allowed these movement breaks in schools and I wonder: ‘What happens to others in the classroom?’
As a parent educator, I help parents not with how they react to their child but how the child interprets their mother’s and father’s way of being with them.
How does this work in real life?
Let’s say for example a parent compliments the eldest for their excellent grades.
A neurodiverse second-born who learns differently and may be less suited to the current school system may form a belief:
‘I only count if I get good grades’.
In this scenario:
A) The parent is not at fault and didn’t do anything wrong.
B) The parent loves both his or her children.
C) The parent may not even be aware how the first-born praise may impact younger brothers and sisters.
Earlier today, I met a special needs assistant who asked me what my children’s interests are and then said to me:
‘In the school, all children matter and have subjects they enjoy more than others.’
‘I wish you had been there back in my day’, is what I replied to her.
What a loving thought that conformity is no longer the main concern in schools.
Teachers receive so much training including how to teach maths differently.
One challenge I still encounter is that a diagnosis may be perceived as a weakness and disappointment.
Recently, a client brought up that her child was asked:
“Why can’t you be normal like everyone else?”
A statement you may have heard yourself along the way?
Instead of pointing out how ignorant this fellow human was, we explored how to get curious and offer her daughter tools of self-reflection.
Lately, I question if we should refer to our gifts of being different as a superpower?
Does that leave neurotypical children without?
In families where one child requires more or different needs than another, a parent is still longing to balance their time and attention - she or he offers to all members.
It is not an easy path we are collectively walking on.
Yet I believe each age group including the latest Generation Alpha has come in with the solutions on how parents & caregivers stumble less.
We are invited to accept each and every single one with their strengths and interests so they can spread their wings like a butterfly and unfold their unique colours.
Let’s come together and learn to fly 🦅.
(Confirming humanity: written by annett)
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