He Made A Mistake

Last month started off so well.

My youngest commenced Secondary School.

After months of preparing for his important transition, he was so relieved after his first day went well.

Years and years of practising morning routines (some of them leaving me feel like I failed at parenting) finally started falling into place.

Not needing my prompts, he got up early.

I was merely a spectator kissing him goodbye before he walked off to catch the school bus.

With more of my own freedom and independence, following my new daily routine was seemingly short-lived.

Moving For Head-on Collision

Travelling back from my weekend dip in the Atlantic I found myself in a horrific road scenario I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

A driver coming from the opposite direction was moving his car in my lane towards me threatening a head-on collision. 

What happens next can only be described as a miracle.

My mind gets wiped of all thoughts, overthinking and will I or won’t I considerations.

With full clarity and alertness, I see the lane (he should be in) empty and swerve over avoiding an impact head-on.

 

The Crash Happens Anyway

When I open my eyes again the airbag has deployed on me after both cars were stopped abruptly.

My first thought is:

“I will probably get blamed for this.”

The more stressed we are, to the furthest back behaviour patterns we reach.

In shock and figuring out the origin of my pain - this earth angel of a woman comes walking towards me.

She had driven behind his vehicle, noticed his dangerous driving and called to the police ahead.

Was He Intoxicated?

While an ambulance was called for me, he was arrested under suspicion of drink drinking.

Sitting in Cork’s Emergency Department where deeply caring paramedics and nurses were looking after me, one question was on repeat in my mind:

What was the parenting style this young man had experienced?  

For days I needed to know what the thoughts, feelings and beliefs were behind the decision to get behind the wheel drunk?

The police officer’s answer to my question was:

“The young male made a mistake.”

My injuries are taking their time to heal.

It could have been so much worse.

My doctor said: “It wasn’t your time to go.”

Respecting Others’ Rights

The decisions we make as adults are often based on beliefs, we formed about ourselves and others rooting back to very early years.

I may never find out what led to his decision that caused

·      a lot of pain

·      sleepless nights

·      my road traffic needs and rights obliterated

·      my beloved car forced off the road for good &

·      weeks of involuntary leave of absence from my work.

What I do know for sure is that only days before the event that forced me to pause, another full circle moment occurred.

An 18-Year-Old’s Courage

The eldest daughter of a client who started attending my parenting training 10 years ago had just turned 18.

Her friend recently started driving and gave her a lift to a party.

After hearing an over-confident comment made by the driver in the car my client’s daughter no longer felt safe.

Instead of taking that same lift home, she called her mum and asked to collect her.

Her mum shared that trusting herself and having the courage to speak up for what she needs (not to be harmed) - is all thanks to the parenting training she chose to attend a decade ago.

(Confirming humanity: written by annett)