What my younger self didn’t know
Updated: Apr 29
What would you tell your younger self?
In recent weeks, I have embarked on a journey of finding out where my guilt and shame come from.
The more I opened up pandora’s box, the more I received.
When I say received, I also mean really good stuff.
We are all first time parents in this life and nobody has to get it right all the time.
Our comparing ourselves to images and ideas of the parent we should be, is what can rob us of our happiness and ability to enjoy the here and now.
My current situation is not where I would choose to be, however I am learning that if I am not content with what is right now, I never will be.
When raising a child we may be faced with all kinds of new scenarios.
Sleeping a lot less
Giving ourselves up a little
Juggling financial burdens
Working through sometimes challenging adult relationships
Learning new skills on how to parent
Often ignoring hobbies we had before becoming a parent
… and now and then asking ourselves big questions like:
What is it all about?
Where I am going with this is that I have been observing a lot of friends around me who are confronted with tough personal opportunities for growth.
This is exactly what my parenting approach helps you with.
In any situation a space opens up where we can learn something about ourselves, we haven’t mastered yet.
What are your thoughts on growing in your parenting abilities?
Your child is probably not the dream child you had imagined?
However, your child is exactly whom you need in your life.
In every parenting consultation: I sit and listen for the first part and I am in awe each and every single time when I hear a parent speak about their son or daughter.
Children who are being born now have a completely different idea about how they would like to be raised.
So often they share with their mum and dad exactly what they need.
I don’t mean the latest toy or more sweets.
What I mean is a true need to help them thrive in this world.
When you listen to how little a boy or girl need to be happy, you wouldn’t feel under so much pressure as a busy parent.
My latest discovery led me to an idea to keep myself occupied over the last holiday and reduce exposure to screens.
I emptied out the big box of lego pieces on our dining table that hadn't been touched in a while.
The amount of lego had simply grown out of proportion, I believe.
So much so that last Christmas a request for a new lego set was made where pieces were presented in bags organised by colour.
My son's need in other words was for less chaos and more simplicity.
When I started separating the different colours: both my children questioned my sanity and laughed.
Within a few hours, my satisfaction of creating some order seemed contagious and voluntary help was offered.
What I didn’t expect was how much faster we were working as a team.
I also used the ‘container method’ and stopped filling boxes when they were almost full.
The leftover legos were put away for the time being.
This is something I have had success with before when it came to an abundance of boy's t-shirts and jerseys a few years ago.
If you are interested in hearing more about this: I am leaving a link to my latest You Tube interview with Anne Marie from White Sage Decluttering.
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The result of "less lego is more lego” : was very well received and numerous spaceships have been built over the last couple of weeks.
By no means am I suggesting that you should do the same.
My intention was to also use this as a colour therapy session for myself (2 birds with one stone).
My suggestion is to take a small area of either toys, clothes or books and reduce the number of items, if possible.
It doesn’t have to be a huge transformation.
Sometimes it’s the smallest part that impacts the bigger picture.
So this what I wish I had known when I was younger.
My need to hang on to way too much 'just in case' stuff - took away my room to breathe.
How is less more in your life?
Can you find an example?
It may be a game changer if you start with something small today?