Allowing mothers to speak

Female clients who are searching for a more balanced parenting style often hear their partner say:

“There is nothing wrong with our parenting.”

Let me explain what so many women share with me.

In our modern day, where mothers can “have it all”:

🌱 financial independence  

🌱 be a working parent

🌱 a full-time parent

🌱 have interests outside work

🌱 and practise some self-care

… it seems to become more and more challenging to connect with their partner.

The workload for the female parent is more than ever.

Even though fathers’ practical contribution is increasing, I see mothers still carrying the lioness share of Emotional Parenting.

For years now, I have been wondering how we can re-organise parenthood so both care-givers feel equal?

Do men feel overwhelm & guilt too?

So many questions and the deeper I dig, the more I am reminded that the answer is much simpler.

Over the last century, mothers have moved into men’s roles and gathered experience in how men run this world.

Allowing mothers to speak

At this moment, fathers cannot switch roles fully and experience:

💫 Over 400 menstrual cycles

💫 Grow 1 or more humans inside their body

💫 Give birth and heal from it

💫 Breastfeed for months (where possible) &

💫 Go through “The Change” for another entire decade.

So, this is my invitation to ALL to think twice before referring to the matriarch as too soft or weak.

Punishing, threatening, lying and controlling are parenting methods of old that might seem to “get the job done”, in the short-term.

In the long-term, research shows that compliance (which was temporary) does not teach life skills such as responsibility or being accountable for one’s actions.

Children are more likely to learn how:

·      “Might is right”

·      Love means “I have to give myself up to be loved by you”

·      To contribute only in exchange for external rewards

·      How to rebel or seek revenge

·      To become fearful or a people pleaser.

My observation is that this “Respect me or else” often results in 1 of 2 future adult behaviours.

When time comes to self-reflect or owning up to one’s deeds:

1)   either others get the blame or

2)  blame is accepted where it shouldn’t be.

So how do you teach respect and responsibility?

A child needs to EXPERIENCE it through the parent’s role modelling over and over and over again.

When this topic comes up (in most families), mothers tend to feel the burden more.

By nature, the feminine holds space and nurtures.

The masculine drives forward and achieves.

To grow and evolve, mothers and fathers need both elements.

While the value in a patriarchy was all about results and pushing through, what mothers bring to the table is more needed than ever.

It takes courage to reflect, re-evaluate and reconsider to create a future society where blame is no longer a known concept to humanity.

 

Intuition is a gift, often only a whisper and it’s now time to give it a voice.

Even if you don’t feel heard, say it with firmness and kindness.

What is your intuition revealing to you?

Leave a comment below or message me privately through chat option below.

(Confirming humanity: written by annett)