Are you afraid of what other parents say about you behind your back?
My parenting journey has been a rollercoaster ride, that’s for sure.
What I thought was the most important as a new parent: was that nobody should ever criticise what I do.
You can bet that I was criticised over and over again.
The way I choose to raise my children is not widely accepted in this world today.
I have a very strong opinion on what children are here to teach us and how they go about it.
You endeavour for your children to be safe and protected and I found out that when we overprotect our children, we actually cause them harm.
The truth always hurts and I am the best example for wanting what’s best for my children.
What I mean by that is what I want for them and what I do for them are 2 completely different things.
On the one hand I want them to need me less and on the other I have not really made a great effort for them to be more independent.
Take for example the other day, the way my 8-year old was not making his own bed and I made it for him.
What I am teaching long-term is: I will make your bed when you are not looking but I will point it out when you are here.
This inconsistency is what I normally help parents out with on my courses.
However, I often don’t practise what I preach.
What I am learning is that “doing your best” doesn’t mean trying to not give in or give out too much, it means being aware of the overall approach we take as a parent.
Many of us were raised by being given out to or being given into - but hardly any of us were were raised with neither.
I am attempting to do neither.
This is challenging beyond belief.
The world as we knew it, seems to be forever gone.
And it is up to us current parents to come up with a new way of raising children.
We no longer want to raise young men who won’t talk about their emotions because it’s weak.
We no longer want to raise young women who are good girls, obedient and become people pleasers who everyone can walk over when they feel like it.
The question is: How do we change our ways?
What I believe we need to do is come together as a parenting community and support each other by accepting that it is okay to be flawed.
Would you love to be part of this type of community?
We are only as strong as the weakest link, is what they say.
I have no doubt that this is true.
However, how can we move forward as a society if we don’t talk about the current challenges and solve them together?
I am on a mission to create a movement where parents:
can come to and feel accepted
supported for who they are
receive enough love from others so that their tank is full when they need it to hold strong boundaries so their children feel protected and can flourish.
My parenting approach’s first rule is to raise children who are held accountable for the decisions they make in an environment free from shame, blame and pain.
How does this sound to you?
Working with me and other parents to create calmer homes is my invitation to you no matter how judged you may feel.
Everybody who I have ever met in life has had their share of insecurities and was either willing to work on overcoming them or never bothered confronting them.
My course is for parents and caregivers who are willing to feel better about themselves.
What do you think would make you feel better about yourself?
Please email me and let me know at effortlessparenting@gmail.com.
I would love to hear from you.
What I highly recommend when you feel judged is saying this in the most gentle voice to yourself:
My parenting does not determine the value of me as a human being.
I am the best parent I can be, because I love myself.
The way the world is changing faster than ever before is quite scary to some.
What if we embraced the changes others waited for a lifetime and enjoyed them while we are at it?
Some food for thought for the coming days and hopefully more during conversations at my upcoming events.
