What are you looking for to fulfil you on the outside?
I was recently asked by a parent: What do you do to calm yourself down?
My instant thoughts were to start lecturing about everything I practise daily and that parents should do more to release stress.
Then I stopped and asked this parent: What is it that you enjoy most when you have some time to yourself?
They said to me that they enjoyed going for a walk without being pulled at for half an hour.
What is it that brings you some peace?
You are the loving human being you can receive an answer from.
What I mean is we are all unique and nobody in the world knows us as well as we know ourselves.
We look frantically everywhere, we scroll through social media, we let ourselves be spoken to by podcasts and books and we buy stuff hoping to get some relief from the outside.
For the last few days, I have been thinking that the greatest gift I received during the last 2 years was to really go within and learn to love what this best advice giver has to offer me.
I appreciated to go for walks just by myself and no longer needing to have constant chatter in my ear to suppress my own words.
This was extremely hard a few years ago, back then I went out into nature because I had to stay healthy.
Now I go into nature because I want to stay healthy.
When you go and put on your headphones, what do you fear could come up from within that you would rather not want to hear?
I am not saying you are, I am simply asking if you ever considered taking some inventory of your inner-most thoughts?
If these thoughts are loving and peaceful, then you have obviously nothing to worry about.
However, if like me these beliefs I thought over and over are causing you stress, restlessness, judgment of self and others - then it is time to start doing the work.
You will be amazed how much your courage will be rewarded by looking within.
The truth that resides deep in our core is our inner compass that has the answers to everything.
Your purpose here is to find these answers and take action based on what your mission is.
I believe that we all have a mission and by finding it, we help humanity evolve.
Our children often tell us when they are young what they are here to accomplish.
They sometimes have deeper thoughts and questions how to improve this planet’s problems than some adults I have come across.
They are brave and courageous in bringing up uncomfortable truths.
Have you ever felt embarrassed by your child when they asked a question in public about something you are thinking yourself?
Mine have.
One time my child asked why a man was talking to himself in a shop?
I said: Maybe he needs some help.
Meanwhile, I knew he was mentally ill or so we say in Western Society.
I don’t know what this man was thinking, I just remembered what it was like for me growing up being called fat by other people.
So what I did was that I asked this man if he needed us to help him rather than shooing my children away from him.
My children didn’t have any problem accepting this man for who he is, they simply asked me to get a better understanding about the world.
Wouldn’t it be so beautiful if we allowed our children to ask questions and give an honest answer instead of apologising for their indecent behaviour?
Back to my original thoughts though: What is it that we often fear could come up that we feel so strongly about that we push it back down at all cost?
I have discovered that I use all sorts of strategies to push my emotions back down.
If you read my blog frequently, you know that food was my main coping mechanism.
However, I also used:
alcohol in my 20’s
reaching for my phone in my 30’s
and discovering in my 40’s that I put on a mask so thick, it allows nobody to get an insight into what I am truly feeling.
What are your strategies to push down your emotions?
If you ever wanted somebody to listen to you, I have a service called Effortless Chats where you can be unapologetically you and get your worries of your chest.
See "My Services" tab for more details.